Saratoga

The BEST Secret for Getting Through the Holidays

Holiday season is upon us and this is the time of year where we can drive ourselves crazy trying to be everything to everyone, and fall into a lot of resentment while we are at it.

If you want to do things differently this year, rather than sitting on a resentment list, watch the video below and learn what you can do instead.

When You Want to Put Your Partner on Trial

Admit it, we have all been there… your partner does something to piss you off and you want to put them on trial!

You are the judge and the jury and there is absolutely no way your partner can win.

Conflict. Chaos. Disconnection. Distance growing between you two. That’s the only outcome of putting your partner on trial.

When you get the desire you put your partner on trial, this video shares what you can do instead.

When Your Partner Throws a Tantrum

How many times have you and your partner or spouse been in a conversation, it gets heated, and all of a sudden, one or the other of you is throwing a tantrum?

It seems to arise as though out of nowhere and before you know it, the whole conversation can turn into a knock out, drag down brawl.

I imagine most of you don’t feel good about treating your partner that way. This article will help you learn how to avoid getting into the ring or battlefield to begin with.

The Other Side of the Sour Date Night

In a previous blog we shared about the date night that went sour…here’s the flip side of the story:

“It’s been a long time since my wife and I have gone out. She hasn’t gotten dressed up and put on makeup for me in a long time. Not that that’s important, she’s beautiful without it, it’s just nice to have that extra special little something. I know she feels better when she puts on the makeup and gets dressed up, too; I notice a little extra pep in her step. I’m really looking forward to going out on the town with her tonight,” he thinks as he smiles to himself and settles into the couch to watch some football.

“She usually takes a while to get ready, so I’ll just watch some football and when she’s done, she can have a nice glass of wine and relax while I get cleaned up real fast. I don’t take nearly as long as she does.”

A little while later his wife comes out into the living room all dolled up and ready to go, first with a smile and within nanoseconds, her smile turns into a frown and she’s yelling at him.

The Date Night that Went Sour

It’s Saturday evening and you are getting ready to go out. You and your partner had agreed to go out to your favorite restaurant for dinner because it’s been a long time since you had been out on a date together. Your relationship was starting to get routine and the two of you remembered how much fun you used to have, so you have been looking forward to this all week long. You take a nice long shower, shave your legs, put on makeup, put on a flattering dress, spray your favorite perfume, and slip into some nice heels. You are all dolled up and ready to go…

Help, I Feel Like I'm 5 Again!

If you’ve been in a romantic relationship for any length of time you are probably familiar with the feeling of shifting from being lovey-dovey with your partner to thinking he or she is completely out to get you—and that shift can sometimes happen in a split second.  

If you’ve ever had this experience, you’re not alone.  

Almost everyone who has ever been in a romantic relationship has experienced this at some point in their relationship. When it happens, it’s usually related to the some issue you’ve had before:
Your partner didn’t put the cup in the sink, again!
Your partner left their socks in the middle of the room, again!
Your partner didn’t take the trash out to the street, again!
Your partner was out with their friends all night long, again!
Your partner’s mother invited herself over without letting you know, again!

If Your Relationship Triggers You, Here's Why...

One of the reasons we love working with relationships here at the Center for Soulful Relationships is because life is all about relationships. 

Relationships have the power to lift us up and bring us great joy. And, they also have the power to bring us down into the depths of despair. 

Our intimate romantic partnerships, especially, is where all the magic happens. 

If you feel like your relationship started off filled with love, you had an instant connection with your partner, the sparks flew, and it felt like you had known one another for years, the reality is: You probably have. 

Liberating Yourself this 4th of July

As you prepare to celebrate the 4th of July, celebrating our independence as a nation, your heart might be feeling the balance between the celebration and the heaviness of how can we allow ourselves to celebrate when our country is in such deep turmoil?

Children are still being torn from their parents and detained in detention facilities reminiscent of concentration camps and internment camps... Roe v Wade might be overturned... California might separate into two different states... race relations continue to be slow in improving and divisiveness continues to prevail. 

That's why today I want to share with you this video about what you can do to make the changes our country and our world so badly need right now. 

The Grief of Losses Unseen

In my almost 15 years of working with clients one thing has become very clear to me: most people today experience deep grief about losses unseen.

When most people think of grief, they think of a physical death: A family member or friend died and then a grief process begins.

Most people don’t realize grief is a process that arises from more than just death.

Death is simply the most tangible way we can conceptualize grief. When a person dies, they are no longer with us in body, and therefore, we believe we have experienced a loss. There is a direct, tangible, and measureable loss.

However, our lives are a constant series of losses:
Loss of a dream
Loss of a desire
Loss of our innocence
Loss of our hopes
Loss of our health
Loss of our child’s health
Loss of who we used to be
The list can go on and on.

Children at the Border and You: What you have in common

As you watch the news, read headlines in the papers, and scroll through your Facebook feed, you might be feeling sad, hopeless, and angry and afraid at what is happening in our country today.

Children are being separated from their families, sometimes taken from their parents arms, and placed in modern day internment camps. Children and families are being traumatized. Families are being torn apart. Innocents are being hurt, both in the short and long term.

If you feel sad, angry, hopeless, and afraid, you are feeling the emotions which are appropriate for a terrible situation such as this.

 And while there is external work in the world to be done, I want to invite you to consider the internal work that needs to also be done within each one of us as well.

What is Loneliness?

Many of the clients who reach out to us for either individual therapy or couples counseling here at our San Jose psychotherapy office do so because they feel lonely in their lives and their relationships, despite being surrounded by loved ones.  

In our Get Acquainted Calls women seeking therapy share with us they have an intimate romantic partnership, yet for whatever reason, they feel lonely and disconnected. They describe a sense of feeling like their lives are on auto-pilot and the love and connection they once used to experience in their marriage or partnership feels like it is missing. These women crave the feeling of connection and intimacy they once shared with their partners.

Why Spirituality in Psychotherapy?

With over almost two decades of combined experience in blending psychotherapy and spirituality, our healers have demonstrated proven results in how spirituality and psychotherapy work to hand in hand to help our clients heal. 

Taking Time to Pause and Review

With the end of another year upon us, I invite us to take a moment to pause and review. Set aside some sacred time to reflect on where you have been and how far you have come. Then, celebrate yourself for your journey. Read more for ideas and suggestions to help you on your review. 

When It's Not A Hallmark Holiday

During this time of year, Hallmark movies can give us unreasonable expectations of what the holidays "should" look like. We want you to know, not all holidays look like Hallmark holidays. When your holidays don't look like the Hallmark movies, here are some tips that can help. 

Outsourcing Our Power

What is "outsourcing our power" and happens when we do it?

We lose touch with the knowledge and the wisdom that resides within us.

Our bodies are powerful truth tellers and hold a ton of wisdom, as do we, when we allow ourselves to access the wisdom that resides within us.

The problem is, because most of us have not taken the time to cultivate deep and nourishing relationships with ourselves, we feel we can’t trust ourselves, or that we aren’t safe people to rely on for our own well-being. So, we turn to those outside others –other people, places, and things—for our safety and well-being.