Therapy

The Other Side of the Sour Date Night

In a previous blog we shared about the date night that went sour…here’s the flip side of the story:

“It’s been a long time since my wife and I have gone out. She hasn’t gotten dressed up and put on makeup for me in a long time. Not that that’s important, she’s beautiful without it, it’s just nice to have that extra special little something. I know she feels better when she puts on the makeup and gets dressed up, too; I notice a little extra pep in her step. I’m really looking forward to going out on the town with her tonight,” he thinks as he smiles to himself and settles into the couch to watch some football.

“She usually takes a while to get ready, so I’ll just watch some football and when she’s done, she can have a nice glass of wine and relax while I get cleaned up real fast. I don’t take nearly as long as she does.”

A little while later his wife comes out into the living room all dolled up and ready to go, first with a smile and within nanoseconds, her smile turns into a frown and she’s yelling at him.

Help, I Feel Like I'm 5 Again!

If you’ve been in a romantic relationship for any length of time you are probably familiar with the feeling of shifting from being lovey-dovey with your partner to thinking he or she is completely out to get you—and that shift can sometimes happen in a split second.  

If you’ve ever had this experience, you’re not alone.  

Almost everyone who has ever been in a romantic relationship has experienced this at some point in their relationship. When it happens, it’s usually related to the some issue you’ve had before:
Your partner didn’t put the cup in the sink, again!
Your partner left their socks in the middle of the room, again!
Your partner didn’t take the trash out to the street, again!
Your partner was out with their friends all night long, again!
Your partner’s mother invited herself over without letting you know, again!

If Your Relationship Triggers You, Here's Why...

One of the reasons we love working with relationships here at the Center for Soulful Relationships is because life is all about relationships. 

Relationships have the power to lift us up and bring us great joy. And, they also have the power to bring us down into the depths of despair. 

Our intimate romantic partnerships, especially, is where all the magic happens. 

If you feel like your relationship started off filled with love, you had an instant connection with your partner, the sparks flew, and it felt like you had known one another for years, the reality is: You probably have. 

The Grief of Losses Unseen

In my almost 15 years of working with clients one thing has become very clear to me: most people today experience deep grief about losses unseen.

When most people think of grief, they think of a physical death: A family member or friend died and then a grief process begins.

Most people don’t realize grief is a process that arises from more than just death.

Death is simply the most tangible way we can conceptualize grief. When a person dies, they are no longer with us in body, and therefore, we believe we have experienced a loss. There is a direct, tangible, and measureable loss.

However, our lives are a constant series of losses:
Loss of a dream
Loss of a desire
Loss of our innocence
Loss of our hopes
Loss of our health
Loss of our child’s health
Loss of who we used to be
The list can go on and on.

If your relationships feel strained, this might be why

If your relationships feel strained, difficult, or leave you feeling less than pleased, this video might offer you some answers.

Watch the video on this blog to learn how your relationships are really mirrors for you and what that even means...

Your Relationships As Mirrors

Relationships are great. They serve a wonderful purpose in our lives. Relationships help us feel like we are connected. They help us feel we are loved and we belong. Our relationships help us to feel good about ourselves…

That is, until they don’t help us feel that way anymore. 

When your relationships start to lose a sense of meaning and it feels like the love is lost, all of a sudden it can start to feel like life is losing its sense of meaning too.

What is Self-Sabotage, Really?

There was a time in the therapy world where we used to say people were “self-sabotaging” when they would do something to mess up life when it was going well. Over time we have begun to see it differently. Today, most people in the personal development and growth world would call these self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors either limiting beliefs, or the upper limit problem.

Mothering Ourselves

With Mother’s Day having just passed, I thought it would be helpful to speak about the importance of mothering ourselves.  

Regardless of whether or not you have children, each and every one of you reading this has the responsibility of mothering. 

Why is that? 

Because each and every one of you has the responsibility of taking care of your own wants and needs.  

Most of the clients who reach out to us for help through individual therapy, and even couples counseling, at our San Jose office, are all looking for help with how to feel more love in their lives and their relationships.

Why Spirituality in Psychotherapy?

With over almost two decades of combined experience in blending psychotherapy and spirituality, our healers have demonstrated proven results in how spirituality and psychotherapy work to hand in hand to help our clients heal. 

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

The stories we tell ourselves. Lies. All lies. Until we find our stories and heal them. Until we see where they come from and hear them. Until we hear them with love and compassion and kindness. Until we can welcome them with an open heart. And once we do that, more accurate and true stories can emerge. Until then, they are all lies. 

The theme of the process of unbecoming in order to become has been on my mind for a few months now, and this blog is finally ready to be written as I too have been moving through clearing a number of the old lies I've told myself, as I too have been moving through the process of unbecoming in order to become. 

When Sex Hurts

When Sex Hurts

Having sex with our partners should be fun. We love the people we have chosen to call our boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives. We want to be able to share all of ourselves with them. After all, these are the people who we care about and who care about us. But what happens when sex isn't fun?...

When Fear Runs the Show

When Fear Runs the Show

How can the Universe bring you the relationships you deserve if you are operating on fear and constantly fighting, running away from, or freezing anytime a relationship presents itself to you? It can’t. So I invite you to take a moment to ponder that...