Emotions

When Your Partner Throws a Tantrum

How many times have you and your partner or spouse been in a conversation, it gets heated, and all of a sudden, one or the other of you is throwing a tantrum?

It seems to arise as though out of nowhere and before you know it, the whole conversation can turn into a knock out, drag down brawl.

I imagine most of you don’t feel good about treating your partner that way. This article will help you learn how to avoid getting into the ring or battlefield to begin with.

Help, I Feel Like I'm 5 Again!

If you’ve been in a romantic relationship for any length of time you are probably familiar with the feeling of shifting from being lovey-dovey with your partner to thinking he or she is completely out to get you—and that shift can sometimes happen in a split second.  

If you’ve ever had this experience, you’re not alone.  

Almost everyone who has ever been in a romantic relationship has experienced this at some point in their relationship. When it happens, it’s usually related to the some issue you’ve had before:
Your partner didn’t put the cup in the sink, again!
Your partner left their socks in the middle of the room, again!
Your partner didn’t take the trash out to the street, again!
Your partner was out with their friends all night long, again!
Your partner’s mother invited herself over without letting you know, again!

The Grief of Losses Unseen

In my almost 15 years of working with clients one thing has become very clear to me: most people today experience deep grief about losses unseen.

When most people think of grief, they think of a physical death: A family member or friend died and then a grief process begins.

Most people don’t realize grief is a process that arises from more than just death.

Death is simply the most tangible way we can conceptualize grief. When a person dies, they are no longer with us in body, and therefore, we believe we have experienced a loss. There is a direct, tangible, and measureable loss.

However, our lives are a constant series of losses:
Loss of a dream
Loss of a desire
Loss of our innocence
Loss of our hopes
Loss of our health
Loss of our child’s health
Loss of who we used to be
The list can go on and on.

What is Loneliness?

Many of the clients who reach out to us for either individual therapy or couples counseling here at our San Jose psychotherapy office do so because they feel lonely in their lives and their relationships, despite being surrounded by loved ones.  

In our Get Acquainted Calls women seeking therapy share with us they have an intimate romantic partnership, yet for whatever reason, they feel lonely and disconnected. They describe a sense of feeling like their lives are on auto-pilot and the love and connection they once used to experience in their marriage or partnership feels like it is missing. These women crave the feeling of connection and intimacy they once shared with their partners.

What is Self-Sabotage, Really?

There was a time in the therapy world where we used to say people were “self-sabotaging” when they would do something to mess up life when it was going well. Over time we have begun to see it differently. Today, most people in the personal development and growth world would call these self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors either limiting beliefs, or the upper limit problem.

Disarming the Voices

Disarming the Voices

We all have voices in our head. The voices of our stories, the things we tell ourselves which we believe to be true. These stories we carry around with us make up the worlds that we live in.

“You’re too fat.”
“You’re too skinny.”
“You’re not pretty.”
“You’re useless.”
“You have nothing to offer.”
“You’re not worthy of love and affection.”
“You deserve to die miserable and alone.”

Waves of Life

Waves of Life

When life feels too overwhelming or our feelings start to feel really unmanageable, it's important for us to remember that these situations aren't permanent. Watch the video to learn more!When life feels too overwhelming or our feelings start to feel really unmanageable, it's important for us to remember that these situations aren't permanent. Watch the video to learn more!

Venus Retrograde: A Real Life Example of its Impact

Venus Retrograde: A Real Life Example of its Impact

Here's a look at a real life example of how sneaky this Venus retrograde period we are in can be and how crazy making it can become for us if we don't look for the deeper lesson. 

The Message Inside Out Has for Us

The Message Inside Out Has for Us

Although the character in the movie is an 11 year old girl, the same principle applies to all of us:

We can be happy, healthy adults, loving our jobs, and having great success in all areas of our lives, but then something happens, perhaps our 3rd boyfriend in a row breaks up with us, and we can spiral down into the depths of despair that lead us to believe we are not good enough, not worthy enough, that there is something inherently wrong with us, and we turn to behaviors such as shopping, eating, drinking, or having random sex with people to help us manage the unmanageable feelings.