I’ve heard lots of great feedback about my post on how Venus retrograde might affect our relationships over the next several weeks and I thought I’d share more thoughts on it, especially since most people have been saying they can already really relate with what I wrote. Many people have shared with me that what they read has actually been very relevant to the things they have been experiencing.
That said, the other day I was with some friends and a real life example of what Venus retrograde looks like presented itself. It was mind blowing! So, with said friend’s permission, I am sharing this post.
I have a very dear friend who used to struggle in relationships with men. She managed to do alright with friends and coworkers, but men were always her biggest challenge. She identified it going back to childhood having grown up in a family where there was not a lot of love and support in the way children really need love and support. However, after a lot of therapy and other healing, she has come to accept that her family did the best that they could with what they had at the time and this acceptance brought on a lot of healing with her romantic relationships.
She had identified a pattern of partnering with men who reinforced her feelings of not feeling good enough and not being loveable enough. She did a lot of inner work on herself and started to develop a love and appreciation of herself from the inside out. She took a different approach on dating, and finally one day, she met a man who, after getting to know him better, she felt was worth pursuing a partnership with.
This man had a background similar to hers. He, too, often found himself in relationships that didn’t work and reinforced early messages about himself of not feeling good enough or loveable enough. He often told her that he was amazed by how well the two of them were doing because they never fought like he’s used to. She used to always tell him that had he met her a couple of years prior, before she started doing all of her inner work, she too would not have lasted so long in the relationship.
She really thought that this was going to be the man she spent her life with, and she truly believed it in her heart and soul.
Long story short, they had a great partnership for almost a year and a half, until a few months ago when he broke up with her out of the blue.
My friend was devastated! It took her months of grieving and getting back in touch with herself to be able to strengthen herself again. She learned a lot about herself in the process and I watched her grow like a caterpillar into a butterfly looking at all of her old thoughts and patterns and realizing how she had transformed because she had not engaged in a single one of her old destructive patterns (she had the thoughts occasionally, but she never acted on them).
When her heart was finally feeling stronger she started to develop compassion for the man she loves and his struggles as well. She had been doing a lot of spiritual readings and learning about other people’s suffering. She felt that every time she held back from contacting him, she was doing so out of fear, which only led her to feeling closed off and alone. So, she slowly started to contact him, but always checking in with her intention: Was it to manipulate him into coming back to her or was it to reach out in pure unconditional love? Only if the answer was pure unconditional love did she reach out to him.
Finally, they met up. She had wanted so badly to share with him the things she had learned about herself during their time apart. But, due to his own suffering, he was still not in a space to hear it.
Slowly, slowly, slowly, however, they started communicating a little bit more regularly and he started to move out of his suffering little by little and returned to being the kind and loving man she remembered him to be. The man she loves who loves her was back was present again and in his body.
They had gone out casually a few times, catching up on life and how things are going. Their past few encounters had actually been really good.
Then, this past weekend came. Venus went into retrograde on Saturday and she was supposed to see him on Sunday. My friend started freaking out and fell into all sorts of anxiety about the encounter. The girl was driving herself crazy!
There were a few of us together and another friend said, “Hey, this reminds me of the article Shirani just sent out the other day.”
Click! The light bulb went on for my friend.
“Ohmigosh! This anxiety is coming from a fear of rejection and a fear that if somehow this time the encounter isn’t as good as they have been recently, that the rejection will mean he doesn’t love me, which comes from the OLD thoughts of ‘I am not loveable’ that I have carried around most of my life! Ugh, I thought that part of me was done!” she exclaimed.
“Oh, this makes so much sense,” she went on, “with Venus in retrograde the reminder here is that I am loved. I am so very loved today! God loves me, you girls love me, my other friends love me, my family loves me. I love me! I am so truly, very loved. That fear is an old thought. That old thought came up to be looked at again and cleared on a deeper level.”
She felt so much better after that realization and after reminding herself of just how truly loved she is, by everyone, including herself and the Divine. And (because I know you want to know) she actually went on to have another wonderful encounter with this man that she loves.
So, there you have it, a real life example of just how sneaky these old thoughts and feelings can be as they come up for you to take a look at one more time. The Universe just wants us to be sure we have truly learned and believe deeply at our core all of the lessons we have been learning about ourselves. There are great things in store for us, we just have to work through and shed these old thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve us as we evolve to become our highest and best selves.
If you are finding old relationship patterns arising and are ready to get support in healing them, call or email us today for your free initial consultation.
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